Not how you might think. Not from experience or fantasy. Not from watching porn.
I take my subject matter from watching and listening to people – mostly overheard conversations. I’ve watched a multitude of documentaries and talk shows. These have led me to research.
The writer’s tool – research. Allow the information to germinate into a part of your character’s story. Their story can be a quickie snapshot or an intense lengthy exposure. Story length doesn’t matter, it is dependent on how you tell it and how well.
This is the difference between slapping scenes together and crafty a story uniting everything.
Erotica is sexual, sensual, and emotional – very basic human connections. Just as there are rules of engagement for swingers and BDSM play, there are rules to telling a good story that keeps your readers interested. Find out what they are. For writing, break what you know. For the other, stay true to be believable.
Learning your subject matter for this genre is probably more important than any other genre, in my opinion. We’re sometimes delving into an area that have very explicit rules of conduct so that everyone is safe. Safe to explore. By flipping these off we’re creating the stereotyping no one deserves.
Be respectful to the genre and those who live some parts of it.